Are you constantly struggling with your time and energy? Feeling overwhelmed with all the things you feel you should be taking care of? Or perhaps feeling resentful for saying yes even though every bone is your body is screaming no?
My friend you are caught in what I call "The Busyness Trap"
In her book “You are a Badass, How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”, Jen Sincero dedicated an entire chapter to the subject “The Drama of Overwhelm”.
In this chapter, she reminds us that much of our pain and suffering in life is caused by unnecessary drama that we bring upon ourselves. The perceived chaos is unnecessary because it leaves us blind to the heart-pounding reality that we can claim calm in our day to day efforts to accomplish.
Instead, let’s take a look at ways we can get a more intentional perspective on our crazy to-dos and take inventory on where we feel we do not have time, have too much to do and suffer from exhaustion because of it.
The ability to say no when we need to pull back and reclaim our energy is very challenging for many of us. It may be because we fear disappointing others, we concern ourselves with the reactions of others or we fear being judged or criticized for not giving in to the expectations or demands of others. Not having clear boundaries on our time and continually committing to the “shoulds”, leaves very little time for us to come out of the overwhelm to reflect on the precious moments we let pass by.
To encourage you to draw clear boundaries that will support you, I offer this wonderful resource I happened upon recently for creative ways to say no.
When I realize that I feel caught up in the drama overwhelmed or the busyness trap, I now take a step back and assessed where I am not being true to myself and the boundaries I intend to create with my time and energy.
Through this process I have learned to reach out to others for help and as a result, I have found that 1) all of those fears are unfounded and 2) I have a lot more time to just breathe. It took me awhile to get to this point of being aware before I take on any action or task but I now ask myself “what is my motivation for taking on this new activity?” It has dramatically changed my view of time and energy and has left me feeling more available to others because I have been able to focus on my needs.
I’d like to hear from you. Do you have trouble saying no sometimes? Are you generally understanding of others if/when they say no to you? Do you think the challenges of saying no are more imagined than real? Do you have a preferred way of saying no that you’d like to share?