For many of us, the holidays are a time when we see family that we haven’t seen in awhile. This can be a very stressful time as well because the potential for family drama is at it’s all time high.
Not immune to the drama and in the midst of pmrocessing my own family drama, I figured it would be fitting to share what I am learning in this post. Without going into detail, it is natural to assume that because we all lead independent lives and have varied perceptions, when we come together with our families, we can be easily triggered by past experiences, comments or actions. This is true for both parties involved. As the drama unfolds, it’s very likely that buttons will be pushed. Nobody knows your buttons better than your family members because often times, they helped to create them.
So, what do you do when you are triggered?
Recently, I was triggered and as I sit here still processing the events from over a week ago, I am still in my processing as I share this formula that I am currently working on.
My formula for family drama:
1) Lose your shit if you need to. Get it out, otherwise, it festers and burrows in your body possibly leading to dis-ease and certainly discomfort.
If you already know that trying to get the other person to see beyond their perspective is futile, journal about it, confide in someone you trust but don’t swallow the elixir of anger.
2) Set some clear boundaries for your own health and well-being. Even if it means distancing yourself from the other person for awhile, setting a boundary for what you will and will not tolerate allows you the space to move through the process to get to step 3.
3) Set an intention for forgiveness. The idea of forgiving right now when the drama is so fresh may not be the time so instead, open up to the willingness to let God work through you and the situation to create forgiveness.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day. No need to create unrealistic expectations here, just be willing to hold that space and intention.
I believe that as we release what no longer serves us, nurturing yourself through this process is the highest form of self-care.
Know that I will continue to work through the process for my own authenticity and integrity and I encourage you to do the same.
What has worked for you to deal with family drama?